It occurred to me the other day as I was torturing myself over an article that I had no interest in, for a publication that I have no business writing for in the first place, that at almost 35 years of age, I am still trying to further my talents by fitting into any available mold out there. It then occurred to me that no truly original or lasting artist ever fit any mold, which made me feel even worse about selling out before I even got started.
So I've decided to stop pretending like I have a complete grasp on what I want or what I want to say. Anyone who's ever read a self-help book can tell you right now you that you have to know what you want to get it. So I probably won't manifest anything but an Audi 5000(black,convertible, if you must know)for a while.
So what if I don't know? There's a terrific amount I don't know about algebra that I seem to be okay with, so this obsession over knowing right now, before it's too late, before I'm(gasp) 35, what I'm supposed to do, seems a little silly. At least for right now...when the coffee kicks in, I'm probably screwed.
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I don't think life is ever about knowing, but being known...What we know today will be outdated by tomorrow. When we are truely known by someone or others, then we find contentment. I love you Shala & I know you...Mom
ReplyDeleteI think I need coffee too. I can't think of a single, clever, intelligent or witty thing to say.
ReplyDeleteHmmm...
Our 20's for being dumb
ReplyDeleteOur 30's for trying to figuring it out
Our 40's for not giving a crap about what others think...well I'm barely 40 but I'm pretty sure that's the way it works
You might get there 5 years faster than I did
Good writing! Keep it up!
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